(Love is) Wanting the Best for Everyone

The sermon preached by Fr. Ernie on Sunday, February 12, 2023.

(Love is) Wanting the Best for Everyone

(by Ernest Boyer - written version)

Last week’s gospel ended with Jesus saying this, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.” This week he goes on to give examples of what he means by that. He starts by reminding us of several of the best known of the ten commandments. There’s “You shall not commit murder; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not bear false witness.” He then takes each of them a step further. It is not enough, he says, that you not kill someone. It’s also necessary that you not remain angry at them or insult them. Rather you must reconcile any differences and honor all you meet. Also, it’s not enough that you refrain from adultery. You should go further and not even long for such a thing to happen. You must instead try to get beyond seeing anyone as a sexual object. Finally, it’s not enough that you always speak truly when swearing an oath. The fact is, you should never even need to swear an oath. If you always spoke the truth it would never be questioned in a way that would make an oath necessary.

It’s true then, that Jesus is taking nothing away from any of the Old Testament laws or prophets. Rather, he’s taking it all much further…and in the process he’s making everything much, much harder for us. …Or at least that’s how it can seem. I know, because for a long time, that’s exactly how I viewed it. I can remember reading these verses and thinking, “Really, is that what you’re asking, Jesus? You’re saying that to be a good Christian I’m now responsible not only for all my actions but for every passing thought too? Every feeling of anger? Every flicker of attraction? Every impulse to cover an awkward situation with a white lie? It’s not enough that I never do these things? I’m now guilty just for having imagined them? Wow, Jesus! You really don’t make it easy on us, do you?”

That’s how I used to see it. Now, I view it differently. No longer do I believe that Jesus is telling us that we’re responsible not only for everything we do but also for everything we think or feel. No, I don’t think he’s saying that at all. Rather, I believe that he’s telling us that there’s a better way to do things than just trying to follow a lot of laws. For one thing, unless you’re going to make a law for each and every possible situation, laws are always going to leave a lot out. Beyond that, though, following laws always means that we’re following something outside of us. We follow them because someone else has told us to do so. They don’t change us, just our actions. There are times when that’s important, of course. But no law can ever change a heart. And a change of heart is what Jesus is after. That’s why he suggests that, without in anyway abolishing laws, we must also go beyond them. We must change our hearts too. Laws alone won’t do that, but something else will.

It’s this. It’s loving God with all our heart, with all our mind and with all our soul, and our neighbor as ourself. Those are really two things, aren’t they? So, today he concentrates on the second half. How do you love your neighbor as yourself? Well, not by following laws. Rather, you do that by always asking yourself what’s best for them? In other words, Jesus is saying that all morality starts with feelings — or rather with one feeling in particular — love. All our actions with regard to other people are determined by whether that feeling is present… or not present. The thing is, what if we want that feeling but don’t have it? What do we do then? Well, Jesus is saying, then you need to cultivate the desire to always want what is best for someone — developing that desire until you have it for everyone, each person who comes before you, no matter who they are. Do this, and you can be pretty sure of always doing the right thing. 

But now you’re probably thinking, “Well if that’s what Jesus is after, why didn’t he just say that? The thing is he does. Of course we all know how important love is to Jesus. It’s central to everything. It’s here in the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus elaborates on that and gets specific, though. It’s here that he tells us how we learn to love others. Part of that is to understand that in order to be loving we can’t simply follow laws. We have to go deeper. We have to go inside ourselves to find that place where who we are connects with who God is, and draw from that a deep compassion for each and every person. It is this that will open us to want the best for them. Because isn’t this what love is? Oh, I know that the word has other associations too, but don’t they all come down to this in the end? — always wanting the best for someone? I believe they do. That’s the mark of a truly loving person, someone who wants the best for each and every person they meet.

And isn’t it wonderful to be around someone like that — someone who always wants the best for everyone? The thing is, I bet that every one of you here today can name someone just like this, someone who you know personally. Not only that, but I’d go on the bet that this person is also someone who you admire and look up to for that very reason. I just think of how many times …

·      people have told me stories of a beloved grandmother who never let anyone go hungry, not even the homeless who came to the door,

·      or a cherished father who had a kind word for everyone, no matter who they were.

·      or a special sister who never fails to stop anything she’s doing in order to listen to someone’s problems, even when they’re those of a perfect stranger.

We all know people like this. Just being around them changes you. You want to be near them. You want to be their friend. You want to be like them. That’s because you know you can trust them. Such people will never let you down.

Francine Head told me a story along this line. I tell it, as I always do, with her permission. It took place a number of years ago when she worked in a restaurant between here and Watsonville. Francine can correct the details I have wrong. It was a very nice restaurant, one that aimed at more formal dining. There was generally a live band and people would dress up for it and expect everything to be not only spotless but also elegant. Francine was the hostess. She welcomed the people as they arrived, checked their reservations, took them to their table, and generally set the tone for the evening. There was also a serving staff, and Francine, being who she is, got along well with all of them — all but one, a woman named Barbara.

As Francine put it: “It wasn’t so much that she and I didn’t get along as that the two of us just never quite hit it off. I always seemed to be getting in her way and she always seemed to be getting in my way. We just didn’t connect somehow, so without ever saying anything about it, we both just kept our distance from each other.”

Then one day Francine and Barbara found themselves working together. It was about an hour before the restaurant opened and they were setting up, when someone knocked at the door. Since she was the hostess, Francine went to open it. Standing there was a man in clothes that looked like they hadn’t been washed in weeks. They were covered with dirt and mud. The man had clearly been sleeping out of doors for a while. In fact, he looked like he had just recently awakened. Sticks and leaves stuck to his hair and jacket.

         “I’m sorry to bother you,” he said, “but I’m very hungry. I wonder if I could get something to eat.”

         “Of course,” Francine said. “I’m going sit you in the back, because our band arrives in about an hour and our guests will come soon after that, but come in.  I’ll get you a table, then I’ll bring you a plate of what we have tonight.”

         Francine settled the man in comfortably, then set off for the kitchen, but on her way there Barbara suddenly stopped her. She stepped right in front of her, blocking her way, her manner challenging.

         “Are you going to feed that man?” She demanded.

         Francine took a deep breath and nodded. “I am,” She said, ready for anything. “Why?”

         “Because,” Barbara responded slowly, eyeing her closely, “If you don’t, I’m going to feed him.” She paused then added, “That man might be Jesus, you know.”

With that, both women smiled. Then they laughed. And from that moment forward, they were fast friends. And why not? They each had recognized the other as someone who always wants the best for others, and who doesn’t want to be friends with someone like that? Not only do you know that that person will always want what’s best for you too, but it is just so heartwarming to watch all the things they do to make others feel welcome… and comfortable… and safe… and cared for. …Or, at least it is, if you yourself want what is best for others too.  

So, you see, what Jesus is asking of us really isn’t all that difficult. As a matter of fact, I believe everyone here is doing it already. And in doing so, we all help each other to continue to be the best people we can be. As I like to say, it’s a lot easier to be loving when you’re surrounded by loving people. And it is. Just look around.… Isn’t it true?

Amen.

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